Triumph and Worry
When I was making my college selection, everyone kept telling me that this was one of the most important decisions of my life that I would ever make. Not only did they tell me this, but every person I had ever met had an opinion on where I should go, what I should major in, whether or not I should be in the Honors Program, and so on and so forth. Everything in my future seemed to be up for discussion, and I hated it.
Because of this, I kind of shut down. I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone, and if someone would ask, I would just say I didn’t know. They only people who didn’t have a verbal opinion on what I should do was my immediate family because they believed it was my decision to make. This intense pressure that I felt coupled with my inability to make a decision made me panic, and I would often get extremely sick just thinking about my future. My nerves led me to make some of the worse decisions that I have ever made.
I wouldn’t go on any visits to look at colleges until February of the year I was graduating, and even then I only visited one school. And, that one school that I visited was the only school that I applied to. No back-ups, no other plans. One school and that was it. I knew nothing about what other universities offered, and this one university was six hours away from home. Talk about risky!
I’m sure you can already tell that everything worked out for me. But, I was extremely lucky. College is not one of the most important decisions you will ever make, it is many of the most important decisions of your life. Where will you go? What will you major in? What will your minor be? What groups will you join? None of these are something to be taken lightly, and not something that most can just luck into. Each one will shape your future.
While things have worked out for me, there are many mistakes that I have made because of my lack of preparation before starting college. Unfortunately, I have changed my major three times, and will therefore be in college for an extra semester. Also, I did not join any organizations until I was a sophomore, which deeply hurt me freshman year.
I have recently embarked on the next step of my quest for education. While in high school, I never thought about grad school, but I now feel like this is a natural step for me. But, I find many of those things that haunted me in my college search are haunting me again. Even as I type this my stomach is churning because the future is such a scary thought. Even if I choose to attend Marshall’s graduate school there will be huge changes in my life, and I want to be sure that I do not make a mistake.
Since I have begun my search for my future, I have also been returning to my past. As I have mentioned in past posts, I ran cross country in high school. I may not have been good at it, but it was something that I loved doing because it cleared my head. It was me and my thoughts.
I have been a regular attendee of the rec center since my freshman year, before it was as glamorous and awesome as it is today. But, I was always so overwhelmed that I would take to the elliptical, and while it was a good work out, it just wasn’t the same. Well, this year I made a deal with myself that I would run three days a week to clear my head.
So, three days a week, I run until I can’t run anymore. I listen to my music, I watch the TV, and I just think. Just me, myself, and my thoughts. I don’t notice anything around me. And, in a way, I just feel my stress and worries disappear. If I can run three miles, if I can run for an hour, then I can make any decision that crosses my past. (Yes, even me, the most indecisive person on the planet.)
I know that many of you reading this are future college students who may be overwhelmed with the decisions that lay ahead of you. And, trust me, I have been there; I am there. Please, do not take these choices lightly. Really think about them. Visit as many places as you can. Do as much research as you can.
Then, when it all starts to get too much, do something to clear you mind; run, sing, read, make a pro/con list, whatever it is that makes you happy. Then when you return to you research you mind will be clear. Once you’ve made your decision, you will know it was the right one.
Do I think and hope that every one of you will choose Marshall? Absolutely. But, I want you to know that it is the right fit. No doubts. No worries. No what ifs.